The Quote Hanger

• It all started when I thought that inflammable was the opposite of flammable...
• Don't anthropomorphise computers and cars, They hate that.
• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
• PETA - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals
• Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all my base are belong to you
• The best car safety device is a rear view mirror with a cop in it.
• Deja Poo: The feeling that you've heard this crap before.
• Two fish find themselves in a tank. One turns to the other and says: "So, ... you know to drive this thing?"
• We have begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet in our home -- so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
• Whould somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
• Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming: Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
• I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
• Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
• Sign in a restaurant window: Come in, or we'll both starve.
• A lot of people wonder how one can tell if he is truly in love. It's simple. Ask yourself, "Do I mind being financially destroyed by this person?" If the answer is yes, you are!
• If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
• How do you get two piccolo players to play in unison? Shoot one.
• The club pro finally told the untalented golfer, "You know what your problem is?" "No." "You stand too close to the ball after you have hit it."
• Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A. With any luck, in about 20 years right after he or she finishes college.
• I went to the airport. I had three pieces of luggage and I told the ticketing agent that I want this piece to go to Cleveland, this piece to Toronto and this piece to Bombay, India. He said, "We can't do that!!" I replied, "Well, you did last week."