The Quote Hanger

• $ grep penguin
  penguin sed awk
• One of the worst of my many faults is that I'm too critical of myself.
• If you're a truly good thief, your name gets mentioned in the business pages.
• True friends stab you in the front.
• Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
• Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
• What's the difference between Tom Cruise and God? God doesn't think he's Tom Cruise.
• Seen on a septic tank truck: We're No. 1 and No. 2.
• Pound! Bang! Bin! Bash! is this a shell script or a Batman comic?
• My English teacher once told me that two positives don't make a negative. Two words for her: Yeah, right.
• I just got some horrible news: My new co-worker is SOB-positive.
• "Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
• I'll never forgive the class of '63 for voting me the most likely to carry a grudge.
• A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.
• Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.
• Said the attractive, cigar-smoking housewife to her girl-friend: "I got started one night when George came home and found one burning in the ashtray."
• If we were meant to get up early, God would have created us with alarm clocks.
• A closed mouth gathers no foot.
• It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
• Numbers are like people; torture them enough and they will tell you anything.